Khaki Fever Nightmare

Arrrrghhhhh!!!! The saying is true…” sometimes it’s easier to fall off a bridge then to fall in love”.  I never thought it would take what feels like a lifetime to find my perfect partner in crime. No one ever mentions how long & arduous the quest really is.  After all, growing up, my “true romance” idols were Cinderella and Snow White. All I needed was a glass slipper and 7 wing men!!! Now that I am inching closer to 40, I have a realists’ approach. The search is on.

What I need is someone who won’t be afraid of the strong independent woman I’ve become and be able to put me in my place, albeit gently, when needed. Let’s face it, a woman in uniform is a turn on for most men but let her speak her mind and take control. EEEESSHHHHHH!!! Watch out!!! Khaki fever may work for the men in this industry but as far as I’m concerned, it’s done diddly squat for me.  

These are the facts: I live, eat and sleep Africa. Am surrounded by the most romantic landscapes in the world with sights beyond compare and only guests to share them with. I love my job and might as well be married to it. I can’t imagine not living in the bush. It’s not to say I wouldn’t give it up for the right man but he would have to be one hell of a guy!!! And before you ask, OF COURSE, I have my “perfect guy” checklist. The truth is I am willing to comprise somewhat but here are the must haves in no particular order.

1.       Be adventurous which doesn’t necessarily mean an adrenaline junkie but rather a "fly by the seat of his pants kind-a-guy”, even if it’s just grabbing a couple of cold beers, going on a walk in the bush to simply sit and watch the sun set.

2.       I’ve dated “the smoker” and realise I am not looking to kiss an ashtray for the rest of my life then again, he would have to be willing to kiss me after a game of “bokdrol spoek” (dung spitting game for those not in the know). Maybe the ash tray isn’t so bad?!

3.       He would have to be ticklish as there is no fun in it when only one partner is at the mercy of the other. And with that, I have now divulged my kryptonite. Use this information wisely.

     4.       Be ambitious – get up and do things not just talk about one day, some day, soonish, etc….  Be a doer as much as a dreamer which means self-motivated but willing to ask for help from his partner in crime.

5.       Must love pillow fights and the odd wrestling match…and occasionally let me believe I have the   upper hand, even if it hurts the ego.

6.       I’ll admit I love cooking but not every day so he would have to impress me with his culinary skills…and I hate to have to say it and risk sounding unpatriotic, but that means more then braai every night unless he is a Master Chef.

7.       He would have to have an adventurous palate….be more then a meat & potatoes guy. He cannot be vegan, vegetarian, gluten intolerant, etc. No squirming or lectures at my enjoying escargots, anchovies, sushi, homemade mushroom soup, crisps, and carbs – oh! lots of carbs!!!

8.       No judging when after a 6-week work cycle, all I want to do is lounge in unflattering clothes the first few days of leave and be a “flat cat” – even if that entails sleeping all day long, indulging in a tub of Häagen Dazs ice cream and watching mindless Netflix series.

9.       Must be the MacGyver (80's TV series) of the bush and adept in first aid as, as much as I enjoy working with my hands, getting dirty, watching things grow and learning how to accomplish things on my own, I am also very accident prone.

10.   I am a coffee addict therefore he must love coffee… in bed as much as I do. I am willing to make as much as receive and he should be too (a touch of honey and milk please).

11.   Be a morning person when the sun shine is beckoning for a day of endless possibilities, an in-betweener when lying in bed all day is a grand idea and occasionally, a night owl. Although I must point out that the bush life has made anything after 2100hrs a late one for me. Call it a hazard of the job.

12.   Have a valid passport. Be an intrepid traveler – enjoy exploring his backyard as much as discovering new places and immersing himself in different cultures. Not be afraid to try new things and convince me to do the same (back rubs & food rewards work best).

13.   Will wrap his arms around me to calm me down. I can be a feisty ball of energy bouncing off the walls like a cat high on catnip but a hug will instantly collapse me into a heap of quiet solitude.

     14.   Can be crazy, goofy and of sound mind in the blink of an eye. Knows it’s ok to not take life or himself too seriously. PS I like to hide and scare people, and will giggle anticipating the reaction.

     15.   Have a horror for small talk. Need I say more?

16.   Love dressing down as much as dressing up. I may live in khakis but I do enjoy being a lady every once in awhile. Yes, I own a dress and have high heel shoes, and they are in the closet next to the khakis and boots.

Ok, so the list may seem ridiculous to some, laughable to others, and unachievable to the rest but it’s what I want and willing to wait for. That being said, I would expect my perfect guy to also have his own “dream woman” list. Don’t deny it, I know they exist.

So why haven’t I found Mr. Right? Well, lets be real, I have my own flaws:  I hate admitting when am wrong but I’ll eventually come around and ask for forgiveness; I am fluent in sarcasm but can laugh at myself; I am strongly opinionated with a sound moral compass;  I get “hangry” and apologise in advance if it’s in an enclosed vehicle on a long road trip (throw some crisps my way); I can be a “chatty Kathy” just don’t take my silence as a sign of anger but rather as a way of my thinking things through before saying something I’ll regret; I have no sense of direction but have met lovely people and found the most amazing places being lost; I can be judgmental but also my own worse critic; I am a classic procrastinator and ironically, extremely impatient, yet combined, made my dream living, a reality.  

Pfew!!! That’s a lot to confess on a first date (am confident Mr. Right is reading this atm) but there you have it. Mr. Right will discover the rest in time. Mwahahaha there’s more??!!! Oops, did I forget to mention I have a hint of mischief in me?! 

 The perfect man may just be a dream and the waiting may seem like forever but I haven’t given up. I want to be needed as much as I need to be wanted. The hard truth is not to hurry love along because nothing good gets away. In the meantime, advice for Mr. Right - heed the #1 golden bush rule…whatever you do, don’t run (and this thing might work out for the both of us, whoever you are, wherever you may be).

It's Raining Cats

The last few days have been absolutely stellar for sightings at my workplace (Umkumbe Safari Lodge in the world famous Sabi Sands Game Reserve) and our guests have enjoyed every moment on drive!!!

To begin, a few days ago, I awoke to the call of a male leopard. Ever the optimist, I thought this as a sign of a good drive ahead. On this particular morning, the sun struggled to peak through the haze but the animals did not disappoint. Not long into the drive, squealing and trumpeting alerted Cameron to the presence of elephants. Through the thicket, they emerged to greet him, as the large breeding herd slowly moved northward to the Sand River.

Jason and I had other plans in mind. Having had our guests with us for a few days now, we were on the hunt for cats or as I like to say, anything with teeth & claws. General game was out in full force on the clearings and in the thickets, and included nyala, kudu, zebra, impala, warthogs, all of which were too relaxed for predators to be around. With everyone on the vehicle in agreement, we carried on with our quest. After an endless search with no spoors to be seen, the alarm calls of the local birds directed my attention to an area I seldom travel. I followed my instinct, and in no time, found an impala ram up high in a Marula tree. A fresh kill could only mean my favourite leopard Nottens was around and likely at her den site on her way back to feed. All eyes and binoculars proceeded to scan the horizon for any slight movement in the grass. Finally, out of the long grass, she emerged in full view, gaze solidly fixed on her prize. Nottens was here!!! I can’t tell you how elated I was. Grinning from ear to ear, my guests and I enjoyed this magical African moment.

 The last five days, have been just as spectacular with Nottens cub playing, gnawing branches, pouncing, climbing trees, suckling, and bonding with his mother. The photographs have been too numerous to post. Not only have we been spoiled with Nottens & her cub, but also a fantastic view of Mashlatine (a large male leopard), two large breeding herds of elephants, a crash of rhinos, journeys of giraffe, a medley of nocturnal creatures, etc… For all of us here at Umkumbe, days like these are like Christmas morning with spotted gift wrap.

To make things even more spectacular, yesterday morning’s drive proved to be one for the record books with 3 different cat species spotted – no pun intended. Not quite finished with our morning coffee, the call over the radio mentioning lions nearby, had all of us guides scrambling to retrieve our guests and coral them all onto the vehicles. We didn’t have far to go, as the Charleston pride were within eyesight of our main entrance. We proceeded to strategically place our vehicles for the best views as this pride readied for the hunt. Adrenaline pumping, hearts racing, we watched all three members stalk, chase and miss our daggha boys (old male buffalos) who were, by the way, quick to have them all running in the other direction. To top it all off, a young female leopard came strolling down the main road and on the way back to the lodge, we were rewarded with a stellar cheetah sighting. All this to say, if that action packed, pre-breakfast excitement didn’t get your heart pumping, you should consider staying home. 

Bush Solitude...So To Speak

Another semester has come to an end. Although exhausted to the core of my being, I am also very proud of my accomplishments thus far.  A few of those to highlights included my first ele approach as driver (a beautiful, relaxed bull), as well as 10 sec timing (cut-off is 15 sec), blind folded rifle loading and cocking exercise during a dry rifle run. The latter is a run-up to my rifle assessment in 5 week’s time. Needless to say, I still have much to learn about the African bush and feel I may never fully understand all of her mysteries. I am, however, as much in love with Africa as I ever was, even if at times, I am frustrated at my inexperience.

This week saw many rivers wash away fencing, damage roads and bridges, widen drainage lines and dams, and even make town inaccessible for a time. With an accumulated 283mm of rain in two days and more forecasted for the week ahead, it was a blessing to be able to leave campus and head on off days.

I am currently based in a small and intimate safari camp, away from all the bustle and hurries of the world. In fact, I have the entire camp to myself for the remainder of my time here. It is a small luxury when continuously surrounded by students on our bush campus. There are no queues for the showers, the excellent cuisine is of my own making and my very spacious room is mine alone.  

Apart from the human solitude, this little camp is inhabited by a variety of small creatures such as the Dwarf Day Geckos, Striped Skinks and Bushveld Lizards that bound across the beams in the open air, boma style kitchen. The sandy area between my room and boma, is a veritable “tableau” of tracks of my most recent night visitors including Kudu (large antelope), Leopard and Vervet monkeys. The loo and outdoor shower stall are no exception when it comes to nature’s subtle signs. A Western Olive Toad has wedged itself in the crook of a cut tree branch, an arm’s length away from my toilet, while a Golden Orb-Web spider has made itself a grand home above the shower head. Nature finds a niche even in the oddest places.

There is a constant cacophony in the bush. In fact, my first morning lie in, I awoke to the calls of the Woodland Kingfisher, the Burchell’s Coucal (which can only signify rain on the horizon) and a host of other sunrise greeters. At the height of the noon day sun, the air thick with humidity, the bush quietens, if only a little. As I’ve stated before, Africa delivers a pleasant assault to the senses. Ironically, as I typed away on my laptop, I was made more aware of my surroundings by the incessant alarm calls of the tree squirrels, the snapping of twigs in the underbrush, and will admit to being briefly startled when a Grey Headed Bush Shrike (bird) landed at my feet to feast on its captured grasshopper. An explorer at heart I may be, but I have also gained a healthy respect for the African bush.  

Part of exploring is knowing when to call it a day. My end of day adventure included a hop, skip and a jump across the seasonal river to a game hide where giraffe, zebra, impala, warthog, and francolin wandered across my field of vision heading to the area waterhole. What a feeling to gaze on wildlife whilst they are unaware of your presence. The day light dwindling, I finally pulled myself away from my reverie to make my way back to camp, stopping only to gaze at tracks along the river’s edge and collect a few more rock samples…after all, once an explorer, always an explorer.

PS as of writing this blog, my ipod took diving lessons in the wash, my head torch's parachute didn't deploy, therefore injuring it ever so slightly and my memory card through a tantrum meaning no photos due to the required formatting of said card.

Here At Last

I have promised over and again that I would blog about my time here in Africa. Unfortunately, free time is a valuable commodity out here in the bush. It is hard to believe that 2 months have already passed and I am nearing the end of my 2^nd semester with Bushwise. I have learnt much about myself and this amazing natural environment I am surrounded by daily.

First off, as I know everyone is waiting to hear about my driving abilities, I will admit to having stuck the vehicle only once and as it would happen, on my very first drive.  Crashing through golden orb webs and dodging thorns, I misjudged my tire alignment and wedged one side of the vehicle in a deep crevice. On a good note, it was a fantastic learning platform for the other students in my vehicle for “what not to do”, and as it would happen, a great photo op for my trainer. It took two attempts to free the vehicle due in part to my rather poor attempt to drive through it the 2^nd time around. Shame!

Driving is progressing and a few weeks ago, I drove into my first lion sighting. The pride of 6 lions lazed about with only one lioness slightly annoyed at my approach. Thanks to my ethology lecture, I recognized the fact that I had breached this big cat’s comfort zone and quickly gave her the space she needed. It is an amazing feeling to see the classroom lectures coming to fruition out on our game drives.

Trust me when I say, there have been many moments “to write home about”. I am not one to shy away from Africa’s creepy crawlies but snakes are another matter, especially one’s that fall out of trees. Imagine my reaction when a Spotted Bushveld Snake (non-venomous), fell next to my study group, coiled and reared up. I have never jumped up on my seat so fast in my life. The reptile identification lecture went out the window as I shrieked “snake”……like a little girl. ;)

Apart from the snakes, scorpions and spiders (most of you will thank me for not writing about these), the wildlife encounters have been absolutely stellar. Imagine elephants emerging from thick brush, silhouetted by moonlight, silently walking past your vehicle, an arm’s length away, the air thick with their musky scent.

The haunting call of hyena in the early morning hours, the roar of lions in the late evening, the final calls of an impala in a cheetah death grip…..it is a veritable overload to the senses. I am continuously amazed by my surroundings! Even more so, my ability to distinguish the sights, sounds and smells I am bombarded with.

Lastly, I can’t finish off this blog without writing about my accomplishments. Rifle handling began last week with our SASSETA qualifications. I can safely say that I am not a bad shot considering the scope was so far off that even our trainer could not hit the target. Makes me wonder about my eyesight (rest assured I passed two eye tests at the driving center). As for this week, a week long session in tracking culminated in my finally qualifying for my level 2 tracker. After much doubting on my part, over analysing tracks & spoor on practical, I was elated with the final results. I must now learn to have more faith in my abilities, after all, this is a dream of my own making. 

Giant Python On The Path

Everything moves in time. My mind overflows with thoughts. The best way to sift through them...feet hitting the ground, shades on, ear buds in and Boy & Bear streaming. While some people have epiphany's in the shower, others on the throne, I have my best ideas while wandering the streets of my neighbourhood. Yes, I am one of "those" people who block out the world around them and walk with determination. There is nothing quite like a brisk two hour walk to pump the blood and feed the brain. Although, generally a social person, I can be introspective at times and will admit to getting lost in my own thoughts. You may even catch me having a one way conversation. 

I have wandering feet or itchy feet as my parents call them. They take me places I would have never dared venture. My feet are monsters, they literally have a mind of their own. When everything in my being screams NO, they say GO. Skimming through some of my past posts, you would hardly believe I was a big "scaredy cat". True story. Case in point, Crescent Island, home to giant pythons. Who in their right mind, would A) visit such an island?  let alone B) explore it on foot?  If all hands are pointing to me, you are correct my friends. 

Crescent island, a choice shooting location for such films as Tomb Raider and Out of Africa, was my pick of the trip. I credit this to my feet treading where no sane mind would. So engrossed was I by my surroundings; dung beetle rolling their treasures across the path, ants scurrying away in orderly fashion, giraffe galloping within a few meters, fish eagles calling overhead, it was no wonder my guide had to pull back on my backpack to break me out of my reverie. Perturbed that he had stopped me so, I began to scan my surroundings. Gazing at the log that crossed my path, my eyes began to refocus. Was that a tongue I just saw flicker?  My eyes were surely playing tricks on me. The log was breathing. Was it a log? Of course it wasn't a log! In fact, it was a 4 meter python. This giant python was both beautiful and intimidating. To be so perfectly camouflaged and lay motionless while being gawked at by several pairs of eyes, I tip my hat to the snake. Naturally, the story doesn't end here and for those of you who know me all too well, you can guess what I did next. I touched it. To clarify, I wouldn't have done this without my guide's say so. I may be adventurous but I am not stupid, although I do like touching everything around me. What can I say? I am a very tactile person. The heat radiating from the giant python quickly spread from my fingers to my palms. Although the moment seemed to last forever, within a few seconds of my touching it, this giant python began its retreat into the tall grass. They say pythons are not very quick snakes, in fact, at top speed, they can move 1.6km/hr on open ground but I beg to differ. For its size and girth, this giant python, had both stealth and speed. Thereafter, grinning from ear to ear, my guide and I finished our walk without much fanfare. 

Although back in the land of grizzly bears and cougars, I allow my mind to return to thoughts of Africa. My feet continue to move me forward at a ridiculous pace when I'm in a contemplative mood but one thing is for sure, no matter where I am in the world, even when I am lost in my own thoughts, I give logs on my path the respect they deserve. After all, I once almost stepped over a giant python. 

A Blog About Me: What's In A Name?

Remember the days of collecting rocks, coins, stamps and seashells? If you said yes, I'll let you in on a little secret: by the age of 13, I had amassed 200+ coins from around the world coupled with a respectable antique bottle collection. I know, closet nerd and proud of it. The good news...my days of accumulating dust collectors have gone the way of the do-do. Rather, to my astonishment, I seem to be acquiring a sizeable collection of monikers in a day and age when people are either collecting iTunes playlists or Facebook friends, all of which take little space (physically speaking). 

Nicknames come and go, but some seem to stick around like the lingering smell of a bad fart. Someone throws a few words together and voilà, an instant reflection of my character. I suppose my biased notion of my "star" qualities are not necessarily the views of those closest to me. So how do my friends & family see me? As I am no mind reader and am prone to exaggeration, I will list a few of my various nicknames and let you be the judge of me.

• Sweet-pickle: I can go from being sweet to sour just about as fast as a cheetah can go from 0 to 100km/h in 3 seconds.
• Anal Angel: although sounding like a porn star, it goes with my need to have ALL my "ducks in a row".
• Naserian: my Maasai name given to me in Kenya, by Maasai elders meaning "Peaceful One"
• Newbie: my Canadian friends living in Kenya bestowed me this title. A seasoned traveller to Kenya, I can still manage a few faux-pas or a.k.a. blonde moments.
• Growly Bear: I can be a little over protective with my peeps to the point of being bossy.
• Rose: not a flattering moniker but one my parents gave me a long time ago when in moments of absent-mindedness, I reminded them of a character on their favourite sitcom "The Golden Girls".
• Tuff N' Tiny: the name of my USB flash drive which eventually transferred over to me. What can I say? I'm petite and like to be thought of as tough. If the shoe fits..........
• Malaika: Kenyan Angel - yes, at times, I can be angelic
• Ducky: generally, everything is "ducky" with this Ducky (except around duck season)
• bB (baby Barracuda): generally solitary, a barracuda is a voracious predator relying on stealth and short bursts of speed to overtake its prey. I'm really not that evil but I do have a mischievous streak and fierce determination. Watch out for my sneaky side!!!

There you have it, your African Snow Angel revealed. Professional Photographer, part-time student, current Lead Gardener & Crew Leader, Africa addict, future Field Guide and all of the above. If by chance, and there is that possibility, you should ever run into this Canadian short stop (made famous by Disney's "It's A Small World After All"), ask me about my rock collection. I think geology may be easier to explain and let's face it, it's much more fascinating than what's in a name. Now to fill in box two of my student Visa application - FIRST NAME(s). hmm?!!! 

Do-Overs

The truth is, that throughout our lives, we will experience many things that may cause us to stumble but in the end, it is our choice to learn and grow from these. God never gives us more than we can handle. Of course, you only realize this after the fact. Trust me, I know all too well and can honestly say I wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for my stumbles. I will not apologize for bringing God into my blog as that is a big part of who I am. 

Contemplating life in a remote corner of my parents farm.

I am forever trying to push myself which at times can back fire. For the longest time, I had wanted to become a helicopter pilot. As a photographer and frequent traveller to Africa, I envisioned flying to remote destinations to capture THE perfect National Geographic moment. Perhaps I set the bar too high or had the wrong motives or just needed to prove something, either way, leaving flight school was the turning of the tides for my decision to move to Africa. By the end of February, I had no career, no home of my own and felt utterly and totally alone. To say that my emotional, spiritual and physical being were teetering on a knife's edge is an understatement. If you have ever hit rock bottom, then you will understand what it feels like to have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again at square one. The difficulty in this, is that it's up to you to decide when to carry on. 

Staying young means being silly. Dish ninja in action!

My love for Africa has been on going for as long as I can remember. So many friends & family assumed I would be cured once this craving was satisfied, however, my setting foot on the continent only intensified my desire to live there. Since 2008, I have travelled four times to Kenya, twice to South Africa and once to Tanzania. My name is Angele Rouillard and I am addicted to Africa. All this to say, the more times I travel there, the longer I stay and so, it only makes sense that my end goal would be to live and work there for as long as I can; forever would be good too. With that said, in March 2013, I officially enrolled into the FGASA level 1 program in Makalali Private Nature Reserve, South Africa, beginning January 7, 2014. 

With 189 days until I return to Africa and  210 days for my course start, you can imagine my excitement. It will not be quelled. Africa is my happy place. Yes, I endured a "do-over" but I am a much stronger woman for it. If Africa has taught me anything, it is to enjoy the journey rather than the destination. Happy dreaming or as Peter Pan would say "I can fly, I can fly, I can fly!"